Is It Time To Ask For and Accept Help?
Arlene Schollaert, MSW, LCSW
3 min read
Why is it so hard to ask for and accept help when caring for a loved one with dementia? There are several reasons, according to Arlene Schollaert, LCSW, Family Services Director at Amazing Place. Overcoming these personal roadblocks is critical when it comes to self-care for dementia family caregivers.
“The more you open the door to accepting help, the more empowered and positive you will feel on the journey,” says Arlene. “Recognizing the barriers you put up that can isolate you is a great first step in getting the support you need. Remember this is a marathon, not a sprint.”
Personal roadblocks that may be getting in your way include:
1. Recognition
In the desire to preserve normalcy, caregivers sometimes fail to admit dementia has progressed. Ask yourself “do you need more help?”
2. Guilt
You may feel guilty for breaking promises to not keep your loved one at home. Those decisions occurred when the level of care was manageable, which no longer may be the case.
3. Privacy
It’s hard to let others into a home fraught with challenges. You may find that homecare support preserves some dignity for your loved one.
4. Stigma
If your loved one exhibits embarrassing behaviors, you may feel it’s your job to protect them. Remember that you must get the help you need to thrive.
5. Financial Considerations
Getting a handle on finances can be challenging and expensive. But it’s important to understand your financial picture sooner rather than later, so talk to friends and experts in the area who can help.
6. Isolation
Dementia caregiving is a journey that shouldn’t be taken alone. Look to bolster your social network beyond family to friends, congregations, support services and other connections you may have.
6. Grief / Loss
Grieving as the person you once knew slowly slips away is okay. So is acknowledging painful feelings of loss with others.
Arlene counsels. “Caregivers who ask for and accept help find they can manage the care of their loved one more effectively because they don’t feel so overwhelmed. They may find their relationship even improves because levels of stress, depression and anxiety lessen. And the quality of time spent together with the person you care for is far greater.”
For more information on how to ask for and accept help in your caregiver journey, please reach out to our dementia expert Lauren Bradley, LCSW at lbradley@amazingplacehouston.org or 832-604-5603.